Look Both Ways by Alison Cherry

Author:Alison Cherry
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Children's Books
Published: 2016-06-14T04:00:00+00:00

When Zoe switches off the light that night, I’m about to try to start a game of Love or Hate. But before I can come up with a question, she says, “So…your mom thinks you’re in the ensemble of Birdie.”

I bury my face in my pillow. “Ugh. Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because I should’ve warned you that I wanted you to cover for me, and I totally forgot. And because it’s your show, and I, like, co-opted it. Are you mad?”

“Of course not. Why do you always think I’m mad at you? I’m never mad at you.”

“I don’t know.”

She rolls over to face me. “Why don’t you tell your mom the truth?”

“I can’t. She’d be so disappointed.”

“Brooklyn, it’s obvious how much she loves you. She’s not going to love you less because you’re not in a main stage show.”

“I didn’t really even plan to lie to her about it,” I say. “It came out of my mouth one day, and now it’s too late to take it back.”

“But your parents are going to come up here next month to see you perform! What are you going to tell them when you’re not in the show?”

“I’ll fake the flu or a sprained ankle or something. It’ll be fine.” I sigh. “My whole family is so proud of me for being here, Zoe. Believing I’m actually successful for once isn’t hurting them.”

“They should be proud of you regardless,” she says. “You’re amazing.”

“You know that’s not true. My mom didn’t even let me sing in the—”

“I don’t mean at singing. I mean you. Like, as a person.”

In my head, I burst into tears and laugh hysterically and set off fireworks and do a bunch of cartwheels, all at the same time. In real life, I somehow manage to say, “Thank you. So are you.”

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Okay.”

“That thing your mom said at dinner. The thing about finding you a nice boy or girl?”

I try to keep my voice light, like this conversation isn’t a big deal at all. “Yeah, she says stuff like that a lot. She’s really into me ‘experimenting.’ Sorry if it was weird.”

“No, it wasn’t. It was cool. I can’t imagine my mom ever saying anything like that.”

“But your parents are okay with that stuff, right? They wouldn’t be upset if you liked girls?”

“No, they know I do,” Zoe says. “I dated this girl Carina for a while junior year, and we talked about it then. They weren’t thrilled at first, but they got used to it. Of course, then she decided she was straight and totally broke my heart.”

Holy shit, my mom was right—Zoe really is bisexual. If I wanted something to happen between us, it’s possible she might be kind of, sort of available to me. It’s weird how everything suddenly looks a little softer and brighter when a “no” turns into a “maybe.”

“Brooklyn?” she says, and I realize it’s been way too long since I’ve said anything. “You’re not freaked out, are you?”

“God, no, of course not.

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